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The Importance of Self Care

Jul 01, 2021

When you are really busy, what sacrifices do you make? This a really personal piece this month about my own self care and how I have sacrificed it for the sake of work and deadlines.


My health, my family and my friends have all suffered from my lack of attention over the last few months and I knew something needed to different.


I am B12 deficient, which means I need to have a booster jab every 12 weeks. If I miss my jab, I can't think straight, my patience completely disappears and I am exhausted; no matter how much sleep I have. I was four weeks late for this dose because I couldn't/wouldn't find time in my diary to book the appointment.


So I felt unwell and really grumpy. This led to my daughter getting the brunt when she asked me for some help with her college work. In the end, I'm ashamed to say, we booked some time in my diary so I could concentrate on what she needed.


And last week, my girlfriends and I had booked to go "out, out" for the first time together in 18 months. But I cancelled because I had a deadline to meet and I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel so I worked instead; making myself more tired and grumpy!


I am fortunate enough to be in charge of my own workload so I really have no excuse for overloading myself but I know this is not the case for everyone.


So, how do we, as leaders, look after ourselves which then allows us to look after our teams?


Firstly, recognise your own changes in behaviour, demeanour, mood and/or output...I've had my B12 jab now and on reflection, the last few months have been pretty miserable. It wasn't until my scheduled meeting with my daughter I realised just how miserable I was feeling. I immediately moved things around and booked my appointment because I knew it would give me the energy to get out of my own created chaos of work and re-balance my life.


Secondly, we all know the virtual world adds in extra exhaustion...ending one meeting and immediately jumping onto the next...one after the other all day long. But you are in control of your diaries - ask "why am I being invited?" and if the reason isn't good enough, decline. If it is good enough, maybe suggest it's 45 minutes rather than an hour, to give you time (and others) to gather your thoughts.


And finally, you will have your own anxieties about what the next few months might bring, and so will your team. If you share yours, they are more likely to share theirs and then you can work through it all together, which is a much better way - looking after each other.


Self care is so important - without it, life becomes stressful, exhausting and dull. So, this afternoon, I'm switching off to watch Roger Federer play at Wimbledon.


by Kate Stranks 08 May, 2024
Great leadership is an art combining various skills and attributes, but I think, there are three standout habits which make a leader truly exceptional. These habits are not just beneficial for the leaders themselves but also for the teams they guide and the businesses they work within. 1. Collaboration with Their Teams Great leaders know the key to success lies in the power of teamwork. They understand collaboration creates a sense of community and belonging, which in turn drives productivity and innovation. By working closely with their teams, leaders can harness diverse perspectives and skills, leading to better (and probably quicker), problem-solving with more creative solutions. 2. Continuous Learning The world is constantly changing, and great leaders stay ahead by being lifelong learners. They are always seeking new knowledge, skills, and experiences to help them grow both personally and professionally. This commitment to continuous learning not only keeps them relevant but also inspires their teams to pursue their own learning journeys. 3. Looking After Their Own Wellbeing Leadership is demanding, so great leaders recognise the importance of looking after themselves. They set aside time for their own wellbeing, understanding being mentally and physically healthy is more effective and can set a positive example for others. Whether it's through exercise, meditation, or simply taking time to recharge, great leaders prioritise their own health and wellbeing to maintain theirs, and their teams, performance and flexibility. These three habits create a foundation for a thriving work environment and lead to sustained success. Practicing these habits, allows leaders to inspire their teams, drive change, and leave a lasting impression in their business. That's a legacy I would want!
by Kate Stranks 28 Mar, 2024
Leadership is an art with the power to transform not just our workplaces, but our lives too. It's a blend of skills used to propel teams towards success and create environments where creativity and innovation can flourish. Throughout my career, I've had the privilege of working under a variety of leaders, each with their own style and approach to leadership. The experiences have been varied, but it's the great leaders who have left an indelible mark on my professional and personal life. These leaders are the ones who have exhibited patience, empathy, and vulnerability. They understood leadership was not about wielding authority, but about guiding and nurturing their team. Patience allows leaders to give their team the time they need to learn, grow, and make mistakes. It's about providing a safe space for development without the fear of immediate repercussions. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. In leadership, this translates to a manager who can put themselves in their team's shoes, appreciate their struggles, and celebrate their successes as if they were their own. This creates a bond of trust and respect invaluable in any team dynamic. Vulnerability, often mistaken for a weakness, is actually a strength in great leaders. It's about being open about one's own limitations and uncertainties. When leaders show vulnerability, it humanises them, breaks down barriers, and fosters a culture of openness and honesty. These qualities not only enhance the work environment but also encourage personal growth. Under such leadership, I've found myself more willing to take risks, share ideas, and push beyond my comfort zone. And the impact of these leaders has extended beyond the workplace; it has influenced how I lead my own life and interact with others. The influence of great leaders can be profound...they shape our professional paths and personal growth and they remind us leadership is not just about the end goal but how we get there, making sure we guide people along the way. As I reflect on my experiences, I am hugely appreciative for the great leaders who have crossed my path, and inspired me to embody their best qualities in my own style and the work I do.
by Kate Stranks 06 Mar, 2024
I was listening to the news this morning about it being pretty much a foregone conclusion that Trump and Biden will be the two candidates in the US Presidency Elections. I'm not one for debating politics, but neither of them inspire me particularly as leaders, and if I were living in the US, I would vote for neither. So, what is it that makes a great leader? Their charisma, their vision, their skills, or something else? While all of these factors are important, there is one quality that stands out above the rest: Empathy . Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's not a nice-to-have, but a crucial skill for effective leadership. Empathy helps leaders to connect with their teams, to inspire them, to motivate them, and to support them. Empathy helps leaders to make better decisions, to resolve conflicts, and to foster a positive culture. But how can we develop empathy in our leadership roles? Here are five practical tips: Listen actively. One of the best ways to show empathy is to listen attentively and respectfully to what others have to say. Without interruption, judgement or assumption. Just listen and try to understand their perspective, their emotions, and their needs. One of Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is seek first to understand before being understood. In a nutshell, what's important to one person may seem trivial to you but you'll never know why if you don't listen or dismiss their point of view. Ask open-ended questions. Ask questions that invite others to share more about themselves and their situations. Open-ended questions start with "what", "how", "when", "where", "tell me more", explain to me" or "describe to me". It seems so simple when written down, but is more tricky in practice because we have an "Advice Monster" wanting to take over the conversation and share everything we know about something. Resisting the temptation, may lead you somewhere neither of you expected. Express appreciation. Recognising others efforts, acknowledging their contributions, and celebrating their achievements can go a long way in building trust and rapport. Filling up the emotional bank account makes it much easier when you want to have a conversation about something needing to be different or better. You are withdrawing from a healthy emotional balance rather than one in overdraft. Show vulnerability. Share your own feelings and experiences with others, and admit to your mistakes, your challenges, your fears, or your doubts. Then you can all learn together how to move things forward. None of us are perfect or have all the answers - by showing your human side, you can create a safe space for others to do the same. Take action. The ultimate way to show empathy is to take action to benefit others. Show you care by checking in on those who might have other things going on; inside or outside of work. Offer help and support where you can & lead by example: if you talk about being inclusive and then rarely let anyone share their ideas - you are not role modelling. If you insist everyone is in the workplace all the time and then don't show up yourself, you are not role modelling. If you give feedback and refuse to listen when others give it to you, you are not role modelling - I think you get the gist?! Providing resources, offering support, or making changes, based on the needs of your team will make a positive difference. Empathy is not a weakness, it is a strength. And embracing it will make you a more effective, influential, and compassionate leader.
by Kate Stranks 21 Feb, 2024
As the tension grows between employees wanting the flexibility of working from home versus employers wanting a full return to the office, the debate continues as to why. Cynical me might say "it's because managers don't feel like they are in control" or "we have huge office buildings sitting empty" More objective me, thinks managers and leaders don't feel they have the skills to look after the complexities of managing a hybrid team so they'd much rather see everyone face to face so they know for sure what's going on. To make yourself feel more comfortable, because there are a dozen reasons why hybrid works better for employees, there are five key actions you can take, and they all sit under the title of building trust. Trust is crucial for team cohesion, relationships and productivity, regardless of where you work, but even more so when you don't physically see your team every day. You can build trust by: Scheduling regular team meetings - probably every week to start and then you can work out as a team how to move forward. Sales teams I've worked with in the past, would have a call every Friday afternoon to celebrate successes, tackle any challenges and close off the week. Setting clear expectations - being really clear about everyone's roles, responsibilities, and goals means everyone knows what’s expected, and it's much easier to hold each other to account. Celebrate achievements, and address any performance gaps promptly. If you don't already, plan in 121s with everyone on a regular basis...these don't have to be formal video calls, the phone can still do a good job! Using the tech that works best for you - it might be Slack or Teams or Google docs or SharePoint - it doesn't matter which one you choose as long as it allows for easy collaboration and communication between everyone; something everyone can see and access every day. Communicating well and often - be clear, transparent, and accessible. Regular check-ins, team meetings, and open channels of communication help bridge the gap created by not seeing everyone every day. Paying more attention to everyone's wellbeing - the flexibility of hybrid work can blur boundaries between personal and professional life. Be empathetic, encourage breaks, promote a work-life fit, and provide support when needed. Above all else, model the behaviours you want to see . Want everyone to check-in at the team meeting on a Friday afternoon? Avoid frequent reschedules Want people to use the tech and share their updates? Make sure you do too Want your team to feel like they are trusted? Keep the focus on outcomes rather than input I could go on! There is nothing new or different here...it might take a bit more effort, energy or focus to get it right for you and your team but it'll settle - just like it did when everyone was in the office all the time.
by Kate Stranks 25 Jan, 2024
Have you ever tried to learn a new skill and felt frustrated by how hard it was? Maybe you wanted to learn to drive, speak a foreign language, or you've stepped into a leadership role. You might have thought you just lacked talent or motivation, but the truth is you were probably going through a natural stage of learning called " unconscious incompetence ". Unconscious incompetence is the first of four stages in the learning cycle, according to a model developed by psychologist Noel Burch back in the 1970's - but it still makes a lot of sense today. It means you don't know what you don't know. You are unaware of the skills or knowledge you need to master, and you may overestimate your abilities or underestimate the difficulty of the task. Like getting into a car for the first time and realising there are a million buttons, pedals, mirrors, and skills to avoid other drivers to master! This can lead to frustration, disappointment, or even giving up. The good news is it doesn't have to be a permanent state. When you become aware of what you don't know, you can seek feedback and guidance and you move into " conscious incompetence ". You realise driving is not as easy as it looks, but it is possible with effort and practice. Your mistakes turn into opportunities to improve, rather than failures and you start to learn. The third stage is " conscious competence " , which is when you can perform the skill or task with some degree of success, but you still need to think about it and pay attention. You may need to follow rules or instructions or rely on external cues. You are not yet fluent or confident, but you are making progress and achieving your goals. You are probably ready to take your driving test. The final stage is " unconscious competence ". This happens when you can perform the skill or task effortlessly and automatically. You don't need to think about it or particularly concentrate on it. You have internalised the knowledge and skills, and they become part of your intuition and habits. You can perform at a high level of proficiency and creativity. But beware complacency! We can still have accidents, even if we’ve been driving for years! So, how can you help yourself get through unconscious incompetence? - Remember it is normal and temporary. It is not a sign of lack of talent or intelligence, but a natural part of the learning process. Everyone goes through it at some point, and it is not something to be ashamed of or to avoid. - Seek feedback and guidance from experts or peers. They can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and point out the gaps in your knowledge or skills. They can also provide you with useful tips, resources, or strategies to improve your learning. - Set realistic and specific goals for yourself. Don't expect to master a skill or task overnight or compare yourself to others who are more advanced than you. Instead, focus on your own progress and achievements, and celebrate your small wins along the way. - Practice deliberately and consistently. Practice makes perfect, but not all practice is equal. You need to practice in a way that challenges you and pushes you out of your comfort zone. You also need to practice regularly and frequently, to reinforce your learning and prevent forgetting. - Learn from your mistakes and failures. They are not something to be feared or avoided, but rather opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of being discouraged by them, analyse them and learn from them. What went wrong? What can you do better next time? How can you prevent them from happening again? The learning cycle is not linear or fixed. You may go through different stages for different aspects of the same skill or task, or you may regress to a previous stage if you encounter new challenges or lose practice. The important thing is to be aware of where you are in the cycle, and what you need to do to move forward. Learning is a lifelong journey, and unconscious incompetence is just the beginning.
by Kate Stranks 08 Jan, 2024
Keeping up with the latest trends needed as a leader is one of the best ways to refresh your own knowledge and skills. According to Forbes, there are three leadership trends for 2024 you should be paying attention to: Prioritise transparency: In a world where information is ever more abundant and accessible, leaders need to be honest and open with their teams, customers, and stakeholders. Transparency builds trust, credibility, and loyalty, which are essential for long-term success. Make sure you are communicating clearly and frequently (the good, the bad and the ugly), share your vision and goals, admit mistakes, and solicit feedback. Look out for how your team are feeling: The pandemic has shown us how important mental health is for our well-being and productivity. It's important you take as much care of your own mental health as you do your teams, so set healthy boundaries, promote a positive work culture, offer flexible work arrangements, and provide resources and support for mental health issues. Cultivate adaptability and resilience: The world is changing faster than ever. Do 5 year plans still exist? Leaders need to be able to adapt to new challenges and opportunities and be able to deal well with setbacks and failures. Embrace change, learn new skills, experiment with new ideas, seek feedback, and celebrate successes. If you want to develop your skills, here are some of the activities you could consider adding to your development plan: Communication - Having good communication skills is key for transparency, championing mental health, and being adaptable. You need to be able to express yourself clearly, listen actively, ask questions, and use different channels and formats to communicate effectively. How about signing up for some internal comms training, chatting to your marketing team or learning how to coach? Build your emotional intelligence - Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others. It helps you build trust, empathy, and rapport with your team, customers, and stakeholders. It also helps you cope with stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Reflection is a great tool to develop awareness of yourself and the impact you have on those around you. Think about what has gone well and why along with what could have been different or better and why. Make a note of what you might do differently next time. Creativity & Collaboration skills - Creativity is the ability to generate new and useful ideas to solve problems or create value. Add collaboration into the mix and you're opening up the possibilities for solutions. Not only might you get a better solution, you'll be fostering a culture of curiosity, experimentation, and learning amongst your team and peers. In a team meeting, share an issue and ask everyone to write down four different ways to solve it...you'll get common themes to discuss or the one surprising solution, no-one had ever thought of before. You can add all three to your development plan but do start with at least one - as leaders, learning should never stop!
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