Coaching Myths busted

24 May 2023

There's a spectrum to learning with teaching at one end and coaching at the other. Teaching is when a subject matter expert tells you their knowledge to help you learn something new. Your teacher will usually have a particular area or topic they are qualified in, for example: history, law, mechanics, engineering etc...


Coaching is when you are the subject matter expert and the coach gives you the time and space for thinking, asking the occasional great question along the way. The coach is qualified to help you uncover your answers.


It is a powerful, yet often underrated, tool for personal and professional change. But there are a lot of misconceptions about what coaching involves and who it is for. These are my top five myths and their truths:


Myth #1: Coaching is telling you what to do or giving you advice.


Truth: This couldn't be further from the truth! Coaching is about asking you powerful questions to help you gain clarity, insight, and awareness. It's about listening to you deeply, and reflecting back to you what you say and how you say it. Coaching is about supporting you in finding your own answers and solutions, and giving you the accountability to take action.


Myth #2: Coaching is expensive and only for the senior team.


Truth: Anybody can access coaching. Yes, there are coaches out there who charge a hefty fee or those who will only work with senior people but there are others who are more affordable and who want to spread the gift of coaching to all. And there is a high return on your investment, because you are in control of the conversation and the outcomes and you have the choice whether to do something better or try something different. Be that finding a new job, starting a new hobby, building a relationship...the list is endless!


Myth #3: Coaching is only for people who have problems or need fixing.


Truth: Coaching is for anyone who wants to improve their performance, achieve their goals, or make positive changes in their life. Coaching is not therapy or counselling, and it doesn't focus on the past or the problems. Coaching is forward-looking and solution-oriented, and it helps you tap into your own potential and resources.


Myth #4: Coaching is a one-time event or a quick fix.


Truth: Well, it can be a one time conversation but never a quick fix. More often than not, coaching is a process and a journey which takes time and commitment. It certainly won't solve all your problems overnight. With the right coach, you form a partnership built on trust, and that relationship brings continuous learning, growth and change which can have lasting results.


Myth #5: Coaching is only for personal or professional development.


Truth: Coaching can be applied to any aspect of your life where you want to make a positive change or achieve a specific goal. Coaching can help you find your balance across different areas of your life, be that health, relationships, finances, hobbies, spirituality, fun, wellbeing etc..., it can help you clarify where you want to get to, overcome obstacles, and create an action plan. 


And finally, two truths about your coaching relationship:


  1. Find the right fit for you - we can't like everyone or feel comfortable talking to just anyone, so find a coach who you connect with.
  2. You are in control - if your coach is doing all the talking, or constantly interrupting, you need a new coach!



by Kate Stranks 2 March 2026
I've been working with a number of leadership teams over the last few months and there is one frustration they all carry. "How do I lead well when the system is working against me?" They care about their people. They can see what would make things better. And yet the systems around them feel slow, rigid or misaligned with reality. Policies don’t quite fit. Processes create more work than value. Decisions take too long. It’s easy to feel stuck. But even when you can’t change the system, you can change the experience of working within it. Here's how: 1. Protect your team’s energy You might not be able to remove every process, but you can buffer your team from unnecessary noise. Translate corporate language into something human. Create clarity where the wider system creates confusion. Push back constructively when something adds no value. Your team doesn’t need a perfect organisation, they need a leader who helps them make sense of it. 2. Create a micro-culture of trust You may not control the whole culture, but you can shape the climate in your team. You decide whether it’s safe to speak honestly, whether feedback is normal and whether mistakes become blame or learning. Psychological safety is built in everyday interactions. 3. Model the behaviour you wish the system rewarded If the system rewards busyness over impact or certainty over curiosity, you don’t have to reinforce that. Admit when you don’t know. Credit others. Ask better questions. Make it safe to challenge you. Change doesn’t always start top-down, often, it spreads sideways. 4. Have the conversations others avoid In rigid systems, difficult conversations get deferred. Strong leaders don’t wait. They notice. They check in. They say the thing - clearly and respectfully. 5. Focus on influence, not frustration You may not redesign the structure but you can ask: What is actually in my control? Where do I have discretion? Who do I need to build a relationship with? There will always be constraints, wherever you work, whatever the "system". But, leadership isn’t about waiting for perfect conditions, it’s about choosing who you will be within the imperfect ones. Systems do matter and removing barriers is important, but it takes time to change at an organisational level. Leadership happens in the space between policy and people. And that space is still yours.
by Kate Stranks 21 January 2026
I spend a lot of time talking about leadership as something we "do to" or "for" others. How we motivate. How we set direction. How we hold people to account. All important, of course. But there’s a quieter leadership skill that often gets overlooked. One that can make or break trust, culture and performance. It’s this: "how we show up in the team we are part of, not just the team we lead". This is where T-shaped leadership comes into play. A T-shaped leader has: Depth: strong expertise, credibility and ownership in their role (the vertical bar of the T) Breadth: the ability to collaborate, understand other disciplines, and contribute beyond their remit (the horizontal bar) In practice, this means leaders who are confident in what they bring and curious about what others bring. They don’t lead from a silo. They lead as part of a wider system. But T-shaped leadership isn’t just about skills. It’s about mindset and behaviour, particularly when you’re not “the boss in the room”. It's the leadership test no one talks about. Most senior leaders sit in at least two teams at the same time: The team they lead The peer or leadership team they are part of And here’s the uncomfortable truth. People often put more energy into the first than the second. In their own teams, leaders are thoughtful, encouraging, patient. In their peer team, they’re rushed, guarded, competitive or quietly disengaged. Yet the leadership team sets the tone for the whole organisation. If trust is fragile there, it leaks everywhere. If accountability is avoided there, it becomes optional elsewhere. If collaboration is performative there, it never becomes real lower down. The team you’re in is where your leadership maturity really shows. Why does it matter? Your team will take their cues from how you behave with your peers, not just from what you say to them. They notice: How you talk about other departments Whether you take shared responsibility or retreat to “my area” How you respond when decisions don’t go your way Whether you challenge constructively or disengage quietly When leaders model curiosity, respect and accountability upwards and sideways, it gives permission for others to do the same. When they don’t, no amount of values posters will fix it. One of the most powerful mindset shifts leaders can make is this. "My role in this leadership team is not to represent my function, it’s to help this team work well.” That changes: How you prepare for meetings How you listen How you disagree How you follow decisions once they’re made It moves leadership from advocacy to stewardship. And it’s not always comfortable. Being T-shaped means letting go of certainty, tolerating ambiguity, and sometimes backing a decision you wouldn’t have made yourself, because the team made it together. In complex, fast-moving environments, leadership isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about how well people think together. And perhaps most importantly, it creates leadership teams that others want to emulate not endure. You can be a brilliant leader of your own team and still unintentionally weaken the organisation if you don’t show the same care, curiosity and accountability in the team you’re part of. T-shaped leadership asks more of us and gives more back, because the team you’re in doesn’t just shape outcomes, it shapes the kind of organisation everyone else experiences.
by Kate Stranks 19 November 2025
If you spend enough time with leaders, new, emerging or experienced, you might begin to notice a pattern. Most of the challenges they bring aren’t rooted in technical skill, complex strategy, or dramatic organisational change. They’re rooted in "the small things". The conversation someone meant to have weeks ago. The decision that stayed on the ‘I’ll sort it later’ list. The colleague they’re worried about upsetting. The feedback they softened to avoid discomfort. It’s never the big, dramatic moments that shape a team. It’s the everyday choices. The “I’ll leave it for now.” The “It’s probably fine.” The “I don’t want to make it awkward.” And that’s why, at BeanStalk, we always start at the beginning. The beginning is: What’s really going on? Before we talk about frameworks, tools, or programmes, we go straight to the heart of it: What’s the conversation you’re avoiding? What assumptions are silently steering your decisions? What are the stories you’ve told yourself that no longer serve you? What needs to be said, kindly and clearly, so everyone can move forward? Because leadership development isn’t about piling on more theory. It’s about getting underneath what’s already there and making it workable. And one thing I see again and again is this belief that avoiding a difficult conversation is somehow kinder. It isn’t. Giving someone feedback that helps them do something better, or differently, is an act of kindness. It’s an investment in their success. Holding back, softening the truth, or endlessly delaying the conversation creates uncertainty, frustration, and a quiet erosion of trust. That’s why so much of the work we do focuses on helping managers build confidence in saying the right thing, in the right way, at the right time. Leadership isn’t transformed through dramatic gestures. It shifts in 1% changes, consistently applied. A quick check-in. A moment of clarity. A boundary set early. A conversation that clears the air. Small actions create movement. Movement builds momentum. The real beginning? Trust. Everything we do at Beanstalk is grounded in trust — trusting your people, trusting yourself, and trusting that honest, purposeful conversations move teams forward. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to start. One conversation. One question. One small shift. Because that’s where real leadership begins.
by Kate Stranks 6 August 2024
In today's fast-paced business world, leaders are faced with a range of complex challenges. The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) identified the top 20 most common leadership challenges, highlighting the areas where leaders often struggle. Let’s focus on the top five challenges and explore how Conscious Leadership - an approach rooted in awareness, empathy, and values - can provide effective solutions. Developing Managerial Effectiveness One of the most significant challenges for leaders is developing their own managerial effectiveness. Conscious Leadership emphasises self-awareness and continuous personal growth. By developing mindfulness and emotional intelligence, leaders can improve their decision-making abilities, better manage their time, and enhance their overall effectiveness. Conscious leaders are not only aware of their strengths and weaknesses but are also committed to ongoing learning and development, which is essential for managerial success. Inspiring Others Inspiration is at the heart of effective leadership. Conscious leaders inspire by being authentic, purpose-driven, and aligned with their values. They lead by example, demonstrating integrity in their actions and creating a work environment where employees feel motivated and engaged. When leaders connect deeply with their teams and communicate a clear, compelling vision, they can inspire others to achieve their best and contribute meaningfully to the organisation’s goals. Leading a Team Leading a team effectively requires more than just managing tasks, it involves building trust, promoting collaboration, and building a sense of belonging. Conscious leaders are skilled at creating environments where team members feel valued and supported. By encouraging open communication, listening actively, and showing empathy, they build strong, cohesive teams capable of working together towards common objectives. This approach not only enhances team performance but also improves overall job satisfaction and retention. Guiding Change Change is inevitable in any organisation, but guiding teams through change can be challenging. Conscious Leadership embraces change as an opportunity for growth and innovation. Leaders who practice conscious leadership are transparent and empathetic, helping their teams navigate uncertainty with confidence. They focus on creating a positive narrative around change, involving their teams in the process, and providing the support needed to adapt. This approach reduces resistance to change and develops a more resilient, adaptable workforce. Managing Stakeholders Effectively managing relationships with stakeholders, whether they are employees, customers, or shareholders, is crucial for success. Conscious leaders approach stakeholder management with integrity and a long-term perspective. They seek to understand the needs and concerns of all stakeholders and strive to create value that aligns with their values and mission. By building trust and having open dialogue, conscious leaders ensure stakeholder relationships are strong, positive, and mutually beneficial. Conclusion The challenges of developing managerial effectiveness, inspiring others, leading teams, guiding change, and managing stakeholders are among the most common and pressing issues that leaders face. Conscious Leadership offers a powerful framework for addressing these challenges by promoting self-awareness, empathy, and values-driven decision-making. Leaders who embrace this approach not only enhance their effectiveness but also create a positive, thriving culture that can navigate the complexities of today’s business environment.
by Kate Stranks 5 June 2024
In today's rapidly evolving world, leaders are increasingly confronted with environments characterised by Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity (VUCA). This concept, originating from the U.S. military, aptly describes the unpredictable nature of our current global landscape. However, as the world becomes more intricate, another framework is emerging to help leaders understand challenges: BANI, introduced by futurist Jamais Cascio. The VUCA Landscape Volatility refers to the speed and unpredictability of change. Markets, technologies, and societal norms can shift dramatically with little warning. Uncertainty highlights the lack of predictability in future events. Leaders often face situations where historical data is no longer a reliable predictor of future trends. Complexity points to the numerous interconnections and interdependencies within systems. A change in one area can have cascading effects elsewhere. Ambiguity underscores the lack of clarity about the meaning of events. Information can be interpreted in multiple ways, making decision-making challenging. Enter BANI: A deeper dive into these challenges Brittle: Systems that seem robust can fail unexpectedly. For instance, the shift to remote work during the pandemic revealed that flexibility is both desired by employees and challenging for some leaders to embrace. The tension between traditional in-office work and the new norm of flexibility is palpable. While some leaders push for a return to the office, the demand for flexibility is unlikely to dissipate. Anxious: The relentless pace of change is creating widespread anxiety and fear. By adopting a human-centred approach to leadership, emphasising empathy and understanding, leaders can mitigate anxiety and maintain morale. Non-linear: In a non-linear world, there is no straightforward path from point A to point B. Outcomes are often unpredictable and disproportionate to inputs. Leaders need to be agile, ready to change strategies as new information emerges which demands continuous learning and the ability to adapt quickly to changing circumstances. Incomprehensible: The sheer speed of change can make it difficult to comprehend what is happening. Leaders should remain open-minded, acknowledging they do not have all the answers. This involves showing vulnerability, seeking input from others, and making decisions with less-than-perfect information. Navigating VUCA requires leaders to be adaptable, resilient, and visionary, embracing uncertainty and complexity, while making decisions with incomplete information and continuously reassessing their strategies. Here are four key strategies: Develop Empathy: Listen to employees, validate their feelings, and provide the support they need to thrive. Cultivate Agility: Build teams and structures who can quickly adapt to changing circumstances. Encourage continuous learning and the willingness to change direction when necessary. Promote Open-mindedness: Acknowledge the limits of your knowledge and seek diverse perspectives. Involve others in decision-making and create a culture of collaboration and innovation. Develop Resilience: Prepare for unexpected challenges by building robust systems and contingency plans. Encourage a mindset of perseverance and continuous improvement. Leading in a VUCA and BANI world is undeniably challenging. What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow, and the ability to adapt is paramount. By understanding the nuances of both VUCA and BANI, leaders can develop the skills and mindsets necessary to navigate uncertainty, complexity, and rapid change. This is not about gaining more knowledge, this is about letting go and opening our minds to the possibilities so we can navigate complex situations and challenges.
by Kate Stranks 8 May 2024
Great leadership is an art combining various skills and attributes, but I think, there are three standout habits which make a leader truly exceptional. These habits are not just beneficial for the leaders themselves but also for the teams they guide and the businesses they work within. 1. Collaboration with Their Teams Great leaders know the key to success lies in the power of teamwork. They understand collaboration creates a sense of community and belonging, which in turn drives productivity and innovation. By working closely with their teams, leaders can harness diverse perspectives and skills, leading to better (and probably quicker), problem-solving with more creative solutions. 2. Continuous Learning The world is constantly changing, and great leaders stay ahead by being lifelong learners. They are always seeking new knowledge, skills, and experiences to help them grow both personally and professionally. This commitment to continuous learning not only keeps them relevant but also inspires their teams to pursue their own learning journeys. 3. Looking After Their Own Wellbeing Leadership is demanding, so great leaders recognise the importance of looking after themselves. They set aside time for their own wellbeing, understanding being mentally and physically healthy is more effective and can set a positive example for others. Whether it's through exercise, meditation, or simply taking time to recharge, great leaders prioritise their own health and wellbeing to maintain theirs, and their teams, performance and flexibility. These three habits create a foundation for a thriving work environment and lead to sustained success. Practicing these habits, allows leaders to inspire their teams, drive change, and leave a lasting impression in their business. That's a legacy I would want!
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